THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND
 
Throwing all caution to the wind
I let my words fall where they may
I let my heart write what it would say
To people everywhere
Who long to know they are not alone
Even when loved ones are suddenly gone
Hopes crushed and dreams shattered
Though all that ever mattered
Lies broken at their feet
I hope my words will fall there, too
Like rose petals of promise
Whose fragrance wafts upward
Into the recesses of the soul
Which would refuse to face another day
If it were not for these words
My heart so longs to say
 
God's grace is sufficient
His love everlasting
His way not always our way
Is what I would say
To that one who fears to face tomorrow
Were God's judgments not tempered
With unending mercy
None could withstand
The touch of His hand
But His hand reaches down
Not to hurt or destroy
Because of the anger I know He must feel
Since our mistakes and failures are so very real
 
Instead
His hand reaches out to you and to me
To guide us gently
When there's not enough light to see
The path which lies before us
Or glimpse the goal that's just ahead
When there is not enough faith to envision
A victory on some distant shore
When there is only anger and anguish and pain
When it seems there is no way to win
And nothing to gain
By continuing to trudge along in this world
 
Then
That hand
His hand
Reaches out to touch His own
And with a gentle nudge that's His alone
He turns His children toward the Morning Light
With a firm assurance once again
That the darkness they have known for so long
Will soon know its appointed end
 
Indeed
I must throw all caution to the wind
And let my pen fall where it may
For in the end
I, too, find hope
In what my heart does long to say
 
mary jane holt
ALONE IN THE STORM

I have felt alone in the storm.

I have known the paralysis of fear
and in its grip heard the reassuring voice
of the fearless One whisper softly,
"Lo, I am with you always."
I have known the fury of defeat
and in such knowledge, heard the voice of victory
call calmly to me from the next room,
"Lo, I am with you always."
I have known fierce crippling pain
and in the midst, heard indescribable compassion
in the voice of One 
whose understanding made it bearable,
"Lo, I am with you always."
I have known bleak despair
and in its hold heard One 
whose Father once turned away
speak gently to remind me 
of His continuing presence,
?Lo, I am with you always."
I have known a cold darkness
and in the black mist 
heard the voice of the Light of the world
burst forth with a promise 
of gladness and guidance
"Lo, I am with you always

I have known anger
And in its prison heard the tender voice of One
Who knows me so well
Who understands my thoughts from afar
Who knows my downsitting and my uprising
Who is intimately acquainted with all my ways
Who sees my going out and my coming in
Who scrutinizes my path and my lying down
Whose presence is too wonderful to proclaim
Whose existence cannot be explained
One Who eases in and out 
of the avenues of my life
as the wind that blows,
permitting me to know not
from whence it comes or where it goes...
I only know that it 
moves my hair and cools my cheek
and continuously whispers 
ever so softly and tenderly,
"Lo, I have been, I am?
and I will be with you always 
even unto the end of the world!" 
I have felt alone in the storm, but I never was...

mary jane holt
BUT GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD

He wanted to smile

as his mind began to wander back
down through the lonely years. Recalling
little laughter
knowing anew the tears
he had cried
alone
on that desert journey where
no one had known
the emptiness
and there had been no one
with whom to share 
the brokenness
of a heart where
the bitter anguish of betrayal
had reigned for a season

Loved ones lost for a time
~
He wondered at the ways God chooses
to work in the affairs of men 
false accusations were so unfair
and always it seemed
there were so few who cared. Yet
freedom had come
and honor
and now ? this moment!
He gave them the grain.
Their very lives lay in the palm of his hand
as the light of understanding shone
and suddenly he could see
beyond the pain of yesterday
beyond all faults and failures, 
including his own
beyond all the grief 
his father must have known
beyond the terror 
their hungry hearts must know today
Alas! 
He wondered as he saw the plan for all the age!
? Eternal Truth ?
He saw it! He had known he would...
?You, you meant evil against me,? he said,
?but God... God meant it for good.?
And he smiled... :-)

mary jane holt